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Travel partner with benefits

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My post-divorce dating has not yielded a beau who liked — or had the means — to travel. I love to travel so have scratched my itch by traveling with or meeting up with friends.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t been invited to travel with men, but unfortunately, they’ve been men I haven’t yet met or had met only once or twice. I knew they were really just looking for a travel partner with benefits, as they asked me to share their cruise cabin or their hotel room. I wanted to avoid being stuck on another continent with someone who was ponderous or obnoxious.

I’m now getting to know a man who lives 500 miles away and has travel benefits from retiring from an airline. Several times a month he travels cross country to visit family, or abroad for a brief respite. In our initial call, he offered that one of the benefits to his future sweetheart was as much travel as she wanted. I teased him, “We haven’t even met and you’re already sweetening the pot!”

And it is indeed a sweetener, as I love exploring new places and visiting friends abroad.

However, there are some drawbacks.

Because he flys standby, he isn’t always able to make his destination. He’s tried twice to come see me, but after attempts at several flights, gave up. So after talking for a month, we have yet to meet. Not optimal. He has assured me that if we hit it off in person as we do on the phone, he will figure out the best way to come visit me regularly, even if that means buying full-fare tickets.

And I’m not keen on jumping into a shared room with someone I haven’t gotten to know and trust. Yes, one could look at it as a vacation fling, but I’d really like more. And I think it would be hard to share a room — even with twin beds — and be able to not have things get out of hand.

So I will get to know him without sharing a space with him. He’s asked if I have a guest room, which I do, but I don’t even want to invite him to stay without our knowing each other for a while. When first dating, I don’t really want someone to see me first thing in the morning. I want there to be some intrigue, some longing, and some alone time.

Have you ever tried the travel partner with benefits route? If so, what did you learn? Would you advise others to follow your path?


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About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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