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The triple-emotional-whammy wedding

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weddingDo you get emotional at weddings? Enveloped in the flood of love, joy and hope it is hard not to be. You are caught up in the palpable adoration between the happy couple. Maybe the nuptials remind you of how elated you felt at your wedding(s), immersed in the endorphins from being in love. Or perhaps the proceedings evoke memories of the grief you felt at the eventual loss of your love.

I haven’t been to a wedding in the six years since my marriage dissolved, so I’m not sure what I’ll feel at one I’ll attend in a few weeks. In the past, I’ve become emotional because of the strong feelings of love that are typically present.

So my first emotional whammy is that I’ll be at a wedding, period. I have no idea if I’ll be overwhelmed by the joy and hope of the betrothed and their families. I’m hoping I won’t be triggered by the fact that my own romantic fantasies of forever love went unrealized.

The second emotional whammy is that I’ve known the young groom since he was a baby. His parents, my ex and I were close friends. They live a few blocks away and it was common for one of us to drop in or borrow something regularly. Their family and my ex carpooled weekly to the same church. We often had dinner at each other’s homes. We went on vacation together several times. I saw this young man and his brother grow up, shared in their celebrations and their troubling times. We hired them for yard work when they wanted spending money. The boys were like nephews and I have great fondness toward the groom and his brother. It will be emotional for me to see this young man enter this rite of passage to marry his long-time love.

And the third whammy is just a bit too surreal. My ex will officiate the ceremony. He is legally licensed to do so, although he never completed his ordination. This will be the first time I’ve seen him in five years. Will it be difficult to hear him talk about the sanctity of marriage, knowing that he didn’t hold himself to that standard? Or the vow of commitment, knowing he violated that one too? I am over him and not bitter, but will it be difficult to hear him speak of values that I know he, himself, didn’t act on? The hostess has said he will be seated at my table, along with a few other friends who know each other, as none of us know anyone else at the reception.

To do my utmost to take care of myself, I have invited a dear and doting friend to be my date. He has been apprised of my probable emotionality and that I will, no doubt, need to lean on him. He has enthusiastically agreed to take on this task. Plus he dresses up really well and is a great dancer!

While I usually consider myself a strong woman, I think it helps to know when you may be especially vulnerable and pre-plan ways to make sure you are taken care of. And with this triple whammy wedding, I will need all the support I can muster!

Are you emotional at weddings or other events? If so, how do you take care of yourself?

Moving On GracefullyIf you find yourself still angry after a breakup, download your copy of Moving On Gracefully: Break Up Without Heartache.

About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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