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The long march toward a valentine

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Our society drowns us in Valentine’s Day propaganda — cramming down our throats that if we have a sweetie we have to go all out to show our ardor. And by implication, if you don’t have a honey, you are a loser.

You know you’re not a loser. You have been working toward finding a compatible, mutually attractive sweetheart. You’ve been consciously and consistently making yourself the best you can be.

You’ve kept up your beloved-finding activities. Over and over. Like a long march toward an elusive love. You keep at it.

One foot in front of the other.

You keep on trucking.

You plod along.

The search, as with any long trek, is punctuated with highs and lows. Sometimes the path is riddled with obstacles; other times it’s clear and easy. You’re elated to find a fun adventure partner, but then you take different paths. Sometimes that is a blessing; sometimes it’s deflating.

You’re tempted along the way to sit on a rock and just be present to where you’ve come and where you are. The perspective may be a beautiful vista, highlighting how far you’ve progressed. Or it could be depressing to see the distance you’ve trudged and not glimpse the end yet.

But you know to stay stagnant would not garner the future you envision and long for. So you give yourself a pep talk and keep trekking. You remind yourself to enjoy the journey and notice the beauty and uniqueness of everything — and everyone — you encounter, even though it may not look fetching at the time. You remind yourself that all of life has some lesson and ultimate good, if you are willing to look for it.

So you ignore the pressure to take the media’s Valentine’s Day messages to mean you are defective if you don’t have a sweetheart right now. You can use the barrage of candy, flower and jewelry ads to remind yourself that true love begins with your being besotted with yourself. Try wooing yourself during this time of year and do things that rekindle your infatuation with the person who is key to allowing anyone else to adore you — that would be you!

And you keep on your path, with a renewed verve and oozing love from your core. Your ardor for yourself will attract the right partner to dance down the path of life.


Need help reminding yourself why someone would love you? Get your copy of Assessing Your Assets: Why You’re A Great Catch.

About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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