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The activity partner

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When your friends are all coupled and rarely want to do something social without their spouse, it can be hard to find activity buddies. Sure, there are singles events in many locales, but often they feel like an audition instead of just having people with whom to do things. And other than your all being single, you may find you have little in common with these folks so make few connections.

Sometimes you come upon someone on a dating site who likes to do similar things as you, but you know there’s no romantic interest. Other times the person will say clearly, “Looking for an activity partner.” It takes the pressure off wondering if he’ll try to kiss you in the middle of the first date!

I was contacted recently by someone who refreshingly said he was just looking for a pal with whom to do things. We like to do a lot of the same things, and I recognized him as a community leader from his pics. He shared that his wife of three decades died last year and he wanted someone to go to the movies and hikes and bike rides. Plus, he lives in my neighborhood!

So I will meet my new potential friend tomorrow for lunch and see if we like each other enough to want to do things together. Our phone conversation pointed to “yes” on the would-we-enjoy-hanging-out-together dial. And I don’t think I’ll have to be concerned about his trying to sneak a kiss on the first encounter.

Have you nurtured strangers to become activity partners? Have they ever transitioned to romantic partners? Tell us your story.


Are you like the man mentioned in this posting — not sure if you’re ready to date again or not — then get your autographed copy of Date or Wait: Are You Ready for Mr. Great?

About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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