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Such a deal!

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I sent this picture and to a mattress-salesman friend — who’s also a single hunk. I suggested this offer might help him sell more beds.

But aside from my smart alecness, it made me wonder if men saw this exchange similar to dinner and a dalliance. If the man buys the goods (lunch), he then gets the bonus (lovemaking). Buy a woman quiche, get a quickie. Some BBQ gets you a boff. A bit of food yields fornication. Din-din earns sin sin.

Much has been written about this unstated quid pro quo. As a young woman in the middle of the sexual revolution, I was advised that if a man bought me dinner, then dessert should be me!

Luckily, in midlife most have us have evolved past this tit-for-tat thinking. But occasionally I come across a man who expects to come back to my place after a first date. I now know that it has little to do with his attraction to me, but more a sign of his horniness — as long as the woman he’s with isn’t odious, he’ll at least try to get her in bed.

This is one of the reasons I rarely accept a first date dinner invitation. I’ve found some men expect reciprocity of the physical kind. When they try to extract their “payment,” not only does it feel tawdry, but it reeks of gentrified prostitution.

Have you found midlife men expect intercourse after the third course? Cavorting after cappuccino? A romp after ravioli? Share your stories.


Want to understand more about sex and dating? Get your copy of From Fear to Frolic: Get Naked Without Getting Embarrassed.

About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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