Monday , February 19 2018
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Guest post: 10 Reasons To Thank Your Bad Boyfriend

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by guest author, Regina Barreca, Ph.D.

Dear Readers: My friend Gina Barreca writes hilarious and thought-provoking books and articles. She and I thought you’d like her latest blog posting. She’d love to get your comments on this piece on her blog. I have mentioned a number of Gina’s books in past postings. Just search by “Barreca” in my search box to find them.

We’ve all had The Bad Boyfriend. He’s the one  you knew you had to leave. In order to get on with life, we need to put him in perspective. Part of that is acknowledging those things for which we should be grateful to him.

That isn’t easy to do.

I decided to help.

Here Are Gina’s 10 Reasons To Thank Your Bad Boyfriend
  1. He taught you that “boredom” is an anagram of “bedroom”;
  2. He helped you understand the importance of staying away from guys who play the opening chords to “Smoke on the Water” ALL THE TIME, even when they are way past the bassist stage;
  3. He helped you understand that for some men the phrase “sowing wild oats” actually means “always having a blonde bent over a coffee table”;
  4. You learned from him that there are insignificant others as well as significant others;
  5. From him you learned that men fake sleep the way that women fake orgasms: to be left alone already;
  6. You learned that a truly thoughtful lover would not attempt to arouse you with the subtlety of a chimp trying to dial a rotary phone;
  7. He taught you that while breaking up might be hard to do, staying in a fundamentally miserable, spiritually chaotic, emotionally unsafe, and unutterably unfulfilling relationship was worse;
  8. You learned, while being in that relationship, that someone else’s suspicions can erode your own sense of trust and self-worth to the point where you doubt your sanity as well as your integrity;
  9. Once you ended the relationship, you discovered that you no longer had to hide all your own stuff because he didn’t like it, thereby happily freeing yourself from the “Repressed School of Interior Decoration”;
  10. All your previous boyfriends — good, bad, and indifferent — helped make you who you are today and who you are today is someone who can have an absolutely fabulous time tomorrow, if only you give yourself a chance.
So, here’s the best thing to do with the Bad Boyfriend: say “thanks,” say “so long,” and then wave good-by without turning back.


If you want to know more about how and why to break up maturely, get your copy of Moving On Gracefully: Break Up Without Heartache.

About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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