When he said he wanted to fly in to meet me, we didn’t intend for it to be a chaperoned event. But it ended up being one — with two escorts!
Thanks to a friend’s largesse, my date and I were invited to accompany him and another friend to a professional basketball team, for which he had comp tickets. So my two friends ended up being the equivalent of my brothers, checking out my date by trying to engage him in conversation. Unfortunately, my date was more interesting on the phone than in person so his flippant and one-word responses to my friends’ conversation starters stopped any attempt to bring him into the discussion.
While I don’t recommend it for a first date, your friends’ interactions with your date tell you volumes that you don’t see when it’s just the two of you. Yes, alone I noticed his lack of eye contact or any apparent interest in knowing anything about me. But it was even more glaring watching him with my friends. They graciously tried to include him and draw him into discussions (I love them for doing this!), yet he seemed bent on staying an outsider. Was he threatened by their clear camaraderie with me and each other? Our easy laughing and joking with each other? This is common friend behavior and if he couldn’t allow himself to be engaged, then he’s not the guy for me.
What have you learned about someone you’ve begun to date by their interactions (or lack thereof!) with your friends?
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