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Dadding Smarter, Not Harder

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Necessity may be the “mother of all invention” but laziness is its father. At least for me.

I know dads don’t have the market cornered on lazy ingenuity, of course. And it’s not really “laziness” to have a lip-chewing dislike for performing a thousand tedious tasks, a million times over and over again, throughout the raising of kids.

So! Let’s take a gander at a few “dad hacks,” shortcuts, gimmicks and workarounds so we can do our dadding smarter, and not harder.
 

Baseball Fishing

dadding smarter baseball fishing
Who likes retrieving balls over and over and over? Yep. Dogs may be man’s best friend but dads aren’t dogs. Boom.

 

Ride-On Carry-On

dad rides his kid on his luggage
Why give your snoozing or can’t-even-ing kid an awkward, Quasimodo hip ride? We put wheels on LUGgage so we didn’t actually need to lug it around.

 

It’s All In The Wrist

dadding smarter swing string
Kick back and relax. Why reinvent the wheel when you don’t even need one? Let a simple string and momentum do the trick.

 

Swing Blower

dadding smarter leaf blower swing
If you don’t even want to bother with a pullstring, you can just motorize the ease of your kid-swinging technique.

 

Potty Socks

dadding smarter toilet socks
Dads know how filthy boys can be because duh. Preemptive measures are better than remedial measures. Especially when remedial means cleaning up sour tinkle splatter on your hands and knees.

 

You Sank My Battleship

dadding smarter toilet target
Aim is important. It helps to show the nasty little weirdos WHAT to aim for. Otherwise they’ll just swing their liquid lightsaber everywhere.

 

YOU SHALL NOT SPEED!

dadding smarter drive safespeaking of pee! It can be hard for your parental brain not to piss its pants with worry when you toss your keys over to your new driver. This trick may put a diaper of reassurance on your concern.

 

One Trip or Death

dadding smarter groceries
More than one trip? Pfffft! Even with a little one, you can bring the car seat inside before gouging your arms power-lifting the week’s groceries inside in one speed-waddling trip.

 

Yakety-Yak, Don’t Talk Back

dadding smarter driving out the trash
For some weird reason, taking out the papers and the trash doesn’t pose the irresistibly satisfying challenge of hauling a dozen grocery bags utilizing every limb. So… Uber those trash cans.

 

Hidden Treasure

dadding smarter candy hiding
It’s our job as responsible parents to makse sure our kids don’t eat a lot of that candy that we want to eat… heh.

 

Pfffffffft!

dadding smarter stairs slide
With all the bills and stuff we wind up buying for our little adorable money pits, it’s nice to save a buck or hundreds when we can. Dadding is easier when you’re not broke.

 

Ballerina Ponytail

dadding smarter twirl ponytail
Say goodbye to fussing and fumbling as you pull your little girl’s hair into a tattered squirrel’s tail. Watch your Princess twirl!

 

Hair Tie, Done and Dusted

dadding smarter hair tie vacuum
And if your little princess doesn’t want to get all happy-go-pukey spinning herself dizzy… SHHHHHWOOMP!

 

Vacuuhawk

dadding smarter faux hawk
Parents of boys can also benefit from the miracle of motorized suction for hair management.

 

Chestfeeding

dadding smarter chestfeeding
This baby feeding hack can be done with pumped breast milk or formula. And, if done in public, it’s 100% guaranteed to turn the heads of breastfeeding lovers and haters alike. Tee hee!

 

Food Swap

dadding smarter food swap
Sure, there may be some early developmental trust issues formed with this one, but at least the baby won’t starve as so many seem intent to do.

 

Inflatable Sheet Tent

dadding smarter sheet tent
Don’t exhaust yourself hauling couch cushions into playtime fortifications. This solution is easy peasey, bedding breezey.

 

Remote Control Stroll

dadding smarter remote control
What a time to be alive! Don’t get carried away with this one, though. No ramps please.

 

Gamer Hack

dadding smarter gamer hack
They’re not even playing! Ah, it’s simply amazing how easily entertained kids are. And how gullible.

 

Power Drill Rocker

dadding smarter power rocker
When your cramping calves have had it with bouncing your tater tot for hours, unleash the true power of your power tools. But like… not the FULL power. Be smart.


 

These are just a mere smattering of the rad, weird tricks and “tools” some dads have slammed into their utility belts to make parenting not so dang tedious and sweat-producing.

What do you think of these? And what shortcuts or workarounds have you come up with? I’m not just making internet conversation, I NEED TO KNOW! But like, for a friend.
 

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About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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