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Command presence

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man in uniformFor decades (centuries?) women have been drawn to men in uniform. Is it the crispness of their attire that is the allure? The fact that you know they’ve learned responsibility and discipline from being in the service? Some appeal to our desire for a man who knows how to protect us? The respect we have for the sacrifice we know the wearer has and is willing to make?

My stay back in Brunei this week overlaps a large SE Asia military convention and air show. My hotel and the city are filled with military men and women. At the main shopping mall, I observed dozens of mostly men from all ranks in their country’s uniform.

While not all the men have a draw, I notice some do. In fact, I saw some Americans who were not in uniform, but had a certain bearing that makes me believe they are either in or have been in the military.

I’ve decided that a big part of a man in uniform’s appeal, whether he’s from the military or other military-based organizations like fire or police, is their carriage and posture. I’m told it’s called “command presence.”

When I dated a retired policeman, he said he’d learned how to stand and walk in a way that people knew he was in charge. He shared that this deportment could quell a brewing problem as those involved could tell by his stance that he was not going to take any gruff. His posture telegraphed confidence.

Of course, not all those in uniform carry themselves with gravitas. But those who do have a certain je ne sais quoi enticement. I’ve noticed a man who is not classically handsome can be quite enticing if his carriage is confident.

What have you noticed about a man’s posture and bearing and how it affects your attraction to him?


In Search of King CharmingIdentify what you want in your next mate in the book In Search of King Charming: Who Do I Want to Share My Throne?

About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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