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Beyond getting lucky for St. Patrick’s Day

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You’ve been unlucky in love lately. You think this St. Patrick’s Day the luck of the Irish could rub off on you. But your goal is not to get lucky with a one-night stand. You’d like more. You’d like a long-term relationship. How do you begin?

  • Get out your lucky charm — you! Before you join any online dating sites, first get on your dating attitude. You’ve got to spend time identifying your positive qualities. This will help boost your confidence, as it takes courage to date. Meeting a variety of potential suitors means most won’t be a fit. So you’ve got to build up your rejection muscle. Most people are kind about telling you when they (you) aren’t a match, but a few aren’t. Don’t let it get to you. Just say, ‘Next!’
  • Dance a jig — or salsa. A great way to meet new people is at a singles dance. Search Google by “singles dance” and your zip code to find ones near you. Usually people are friendly and the organizers encourage people to mix it up and dance with multiple partners. You never know with whom you’ll end up shaking a leg.
  • Look at each encounter as a pot of gold. There is treasure in nearly everyone if you are willing to look. Not all your dates will result in a second date, but most people have something valuable inside and it will be a rewarding experience to meet them.
  • Protect your treasure — your time. Even though there can be hidden gems in new men, you want to make sure you aren’t wasting your and his time with men who will never be a match because of different values. If you want to minimize spending time with potential suitors who clearly aren’t a match, screen contacts ahead of time through email and the phone. Converse several times before agreeing to even coffee.
  • Start with coffee — but not an Irish one. When alcohol enters the picture, judgment can be impaired. An Albert Finney look-alike starts resembling Colin Farrell the more you drink. Start with a short (hour or less) coffee date when you are clear headed and can rationally assess whether he’s someone with whom you want to spend more time.
  • Watch out for the Blarney. Some people have dated a lot and are as smooth as Bailey’s Irish Cream. So watch if someone comes on too strong too fast by too much flattering, calling you pet names, touching you as if you are an “item” on the first date, or going for a passionate kiss within minutes of meeting you. Best to head for the hills as if chased by snakes!
  • Progress slowly to corned beef and potatoes. Don’t start with a dinner date. If you haven’t pre-screened the person then met first for coffee, a dinner date can be excruciating. If your date continually complains about the ex, talks incessantly, or swears a blue streak, excuse yourself quickly. Only accept dinner for a second date, not a first one.
  • Don’t flail yourself — or your date — with a shillelagh. If it doesn’t work out, don’t beat yourself up, nor blame your date. Be grateful that you quickly found out it wasn’t a match and move on. Let it go. Get back into the dating pool and try again.
  • Wear green. Unless, of course, you want to be pinched!

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About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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