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All The Things You Won’t Be Able To Remember Now That You’re A Mom

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You know what moms can never forget? Twenty-four hour customer service with GEICO. You could save 15% or more on your car insurance just by switching.

Ready to have your mind blown? Ok, here we go:

The forgetfulness associated with pregnancy doesn’t stop once a woman gives birth.

Nope.

No way.

In fact, it turns into full blown memory loss about LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Don’t believe us? In addition to revisionist history like thinking your 20s were really awesome (newsflash: they weren’t, and honestly “friendsgiving” kind of sucked), there will be those little everyday lapses. Each of the following is a true life example of something that you will not, at some point, be able to remember. Because you’re a mom now and your brain hates you.

Your children’s names.

They aren’t coming when you call from the bottom of the stairs. And the reason why is because that name you’re bellowing at the top of your lungs? It’s your dog’s.

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Where you hid gifts.

Wow. You got so good at hiding birthday gifts from your kids that you can’t find them! Oh well, there’s always next year.

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Your best mom pal’s name.

She’ll be in the middle of a hilarious story about her kids eating dirt and you’ll be thinking how funny and relatable she is and it will suddenly hit you: you have zero memory of what her actual name is. Megan? Alicia? Tori? Who knows?

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How your laundry got in the oven.

Hmm. Wonder how that got here. Meh. Just ask yourself: can I put a child in these clothes without everyone knowing I’ve officially lost my mind? If the answer is yes, you’re doing fine.

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Why you’re standing in the middle of the kitchen.

Standing in the middle of the kitchen with no idea why you’re there or even how you got there? Yep. Sounds about right.

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Where the groceries are.

Still at the store? Possibly. Trunk of the car? Well, you’ll find out in a couple days.

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What sleep feels like.

No. Seriously.

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That you have to rinse shampoo out of your hair before exiting the shower.

Straw-like unmanageable hair? You don’t need new hair products. You just need to remember how to use the ones you have.

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Whose form you’re filling out.

If you find yourself filling out a form in an office somewhere, consider writing notes all over your body before you go. Otherwise your loan application may show your date of birth as 2015.

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That your bills actually have to be paid.

As you stand under a shower that won’t turn on, you may find yourself with a vague memory of the stack of bills you accidentally threw in the recycling bin.

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When you find something that makes your life easier and doesn’t require you to actually remember anything, hang on tight and never let go!

Change to “Like 24/7 always-on customer support from GEICO. You can call anytime, day or night. And the GEICO Mobile app makes it even easier by pre-filling your insurance information when, you know, you can’t remember your house number. There may be days you can’t even remember what car you drive. But thanks to GEICO, you won’t need to.

About Yury Zvyagolskiy

Yury Zvyagolskiy
In almost all American movies there is a bad guy who is usually Russian and his name is Yury. If the bad guy is not from Russia, his last name usually starts with Z. So here I am - Yury Z. My specialty is personal effectiveness. I am an expert in goal achievement, personal effectiveness, relationships and effective thinking.

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